


A Prickly Situation

by 2lieutenant



Category: The Rat Patrol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 20:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10929273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2lieutenant/pseuds/2lieutenant
Summary: Tully and Moffitt just couldn't help themselves.





	A Prickly Situation

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the Rat Patrol.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Rat Patrol or profit from writing.   
Author's Note: This is kind of silly, and makes no sense, but I had it in my head and had to get it out.  
Summary: Moffitt and Tully just couldn't help themselves.  
The Rat Patrol was on their way back to their base after having successfully blown up a German supply convoy carrying arms and ammunition. The mission had been one of their easier ones, and Hitch had even managed to not get hit. Therefore Troy was surprised when the jeep holding Tully and Moffitt stopped in front of him. Thinking that one of them was hurt, Troy and Hitch jumped out of the jeep and ran over to Moffitt and Tully.  
"Something wrong?" Concern was plastered all over his face. "Someone get hit?" He broke off when he saw Tully bent over a cactus.  
"Hey, Sarge," Tully whispered. Awe filled his voice. "Is that what I think it is?"  
"I believe so, Tully," replied Moffitt, "Go grab that book my mother sent me."  
Tully ran over to their jeep to look for the book.  
Hitch stared at Moffitt, perplexed. "Are you telling me you two stopped just to look at a cactus? If you wanted to look at a cactus, why didn't you just wait until we got back to the base?"  
Tully came back with the book in his hand. He handed it to Moffitt.  
"Thank you."  
Tully nodded. He then turned his attention to Hitch. "This isn't your everyday Rhipsalis baccifera."  
Hitch blinked, "Say what?"  
"Rhipsalis baccifera. More commonly known as mistletoe cactus. This isn't that. This isn't even a cactus. It's a stem succulent called Hoodia gordonii."  
Hitch nodded, "I see." He looked about as confused as one could get.  
Moffitt saw this and started laughing. "I know it looks like a cactus, but it isn't one. A stem succulent conducts photosynthesis from the stems, not the leaves. The natives use it as an appetite suppressant."  
"Oh, but what are you doing with it?" He sat on his heels and looked at it more closely. He lost his balance and Hitch fell facedown into the plant.  
"Hitch, what are you doing? That's a rare plant and you just crushed it," Moffitt complained, "Are you okay?"  
Hitch lifted his head from the cactus. "Don't worry abut the plant. What about me?" His face was covered in small thorns.  
Troy looked at his face, "We need to get him to a hospital to remove the thorns. Let's go, Moffitt and Tully. You'll have to wait for another encounter with a stem succulent."  
They nodded and got into the jeep. By the time they had arrived at the base, Hitch's face was swollen and red. They quickly brought him to the hospital.  
Christina gasped when she saw his face. "What happened to him?"  
"He had an encounter with a cactus," replied Troy.  
"It's a stem succulent," corrected Moffitt and Tully in unison.  
Christina looked at them with a confused expression. "Okay, whatever. We just need to get these out of his face in time for his date tomorrow. Hopefully the swelling will have gone down by then. Now, leave unless you want to see this."  
"We'll come back after you're done."  
After the doctor and Christina had removed the thorns from Hitch's face, the rest of the Rat Patrol came back in.  
"How are you feeling, Hitch?" asked Troy.  
"About as well as one can expect after having a couple hundred cactus thorns implanted in one's face."  
"It's not a cactus, it's a stem succulent," Tully corrected with an exasperated sigh. He turned to Moffitt. "Will they ever learn?"


End file.
